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Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family-Part 2
Getting Help From Adoptive Parents
In our previous post: Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family, we mentioned that if your adoptive family members are willing to help you with your search for your birth mother, by all means approach them and obtain as much detail as possible! Write a list of everything you want to cover. At the very minimum you’ll want to ask…
- Why did my birth mother give me up?
- What were the ages of my birth parents? Dates of birth?
- Where were my birth parents born, and where did they reside at the time of my adoption?
- Were they from the same area where I was born? Name of hospital where I was born?
- What are the nationalities of my birth parents? Were my grand parents living?
- Educational background of my birth parents and grand parents?
- Occupation(s) and social history of birth parents and grand parents? Any siblings?
- Were my birthparents married, divorced? Previous marriages?
- Religion of birth parents?
- Was I in a foster home? How long? Who were my foster parents?
- How long between my relinquishment and placement?
- Was my mother in a maternity home? Did she see and hold me? Was she counseled before/after delivery or signing? Color of parent’s hair/eyes? Their height/weight?
- Did my birthparents have brothers/sisters? What ages? Birthmother’s first name and initial? Birthfather’s?
- Did she name me? What name? Were my birth parents active in school activities? What kind?
- How much did I weigh at birth? Has my birthmother or any birth family member ever contacted you? Do you have any letters, photos, or mementos?
- Name of social worker who handled my placement? Date adoption was finalized? What court(s) initiating, finalizing?
- Do you have a copy of my family decree for adoption? If not, what legal proof did you have to show that you were my parents?
Your interview may go in many directions. You may be told something that surprises you, and you may forget to ask everything that you had planned. So, be sure to cover all the questions that you have on your list. Just remember this very important fact: YOUR ADOPTING PARENTS AND/OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS MAY KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR ADOPTION THAN THEY CARE TO REVEAL. So, you may have to question them more than once. Do whatever it takes to get all the facts. If you don’t believe that you will get much co-operation from your adoptive family, you’ll have to use a different tactic. Over time, casually approach your family members and ask for small tidbits of information about your past. Make sure you do this over a period of time, not all at once! We know that it will be stressful to not ask for everything right away, but you have to remain patient. You can’t appear to be asking for information that will allow you to find your birth mother. Just act mildly curious–interested about your roots or medical background. Remember, you only need a minimal amount of identifying information to complete a successful search! Please read our prior post: Birth Mother Search – Obtaining Necessary Identifying Information.
You might enjoy these related posts:
I’m looking for my husband’s birth mother. He was adopted from the angel guardin orphanage in brooklyn, Name on adoption papers is Larson
im looking for my mums mum and dad who gae her up when she wa only 18mounths she really wants to find them my mums name is lorraine harris harris is not her real second name its the name of her the parents who adopted her.please come nan and grandad i really wanna meet u if u are still alive my mum has a twin brother kieth
hi i belive that u are looking for me lorraine
well id like to say hi and im sorry for giving you u up at such a young age i was only 16 and i wasnt prepeard to give up my life up so easily . ive started up a family buiesness i would love to meet u .and see if i have grandchildren i belive that your adopted parents are partica harris and charlie. you 2 more sister elaine elle and a brother tony hope to see you soon
I am looking for the woman that gave me my greatest gift my life. I was born in Kentucky on April 1, 1973
I am looking 4 my dads birth parents because i would like to know who my grandparents are. IF U R OUT THERE PLEASE CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Searching for birth parents; child born 4/22/78 in Indiana.
Hello my name is Jose Jaran Gregory Gookin and I am looking for my birth mothers information. I was adopted when I was a young boy and don’t remember my mother and was told that she had passed away; her name was Betty Gregory Gookin and I’m not sure how old she was and I was told my grandmothers name was Catherine Gregory and she had also passed away. I would like to know if my mother left anything behind for me and how she died and what her will said and if there is any unclaimed money that she left for me. I am from Brazil and my adopted sister is living here in Arkansas close to me and her name is GiGi Reedy… So if you have any information about any of this PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL AT xxxxxxxxxx (contact the search advisor for Jaran’s phone number) I would love to find out more about my real family and birth mother… Thanks for your time to try and help… Sincerly, Jaran Gookin
please get in touch with me , i like to help you i am brasilizilian lady and live in germany please write me.
sincer. many regards
regina westenberger
Mom (Jessica Jennings). I am 17 years old today and i was born October 14, 1991 in texas.. You named me Jazzmine Marie Jennings and i have been looking for you since i was 11 years old…My parents changed my name to Molly Catherine Burnett. i read the letters that you gave my parents (lori and clay burnett) i still have the panda bear you gave me, i will always be your princess and if you are out there i would love to meet you… please mom, i would do anything to see you again and thank you for what you gave me!!
love your growing up Princess
Jazzmine Marie Jennings!
I was born Sept. 1062 in a north kansas city hospital. I was born with a cleft pallet. The adoption was a peivate adoption set up between my adopted father and my birth mother’s uncle. They worked together. I would like to find anyone who may be a itty bitty bit related to me or wonder about me like I do you.
Hi Paula , what state?
I am also looking for my dad’s parents… It would be an honor to meet my real grandparents. What if i need medical help one day? They could even be the reason for me to win a Scholarship. All I know is that my dad’s real name was Mark Twain, and he was adopted from West Virginia.
I am looking for my real mom, I was adopted at birth. My real moms name is Bettie Thornton and the last address we have for her is in Hernando, Miss. My birthday is Nov. 21 1987. I was adopted In Memphis, Tennessee. I would really like to meet my real mom. I just want to know her and know if i have brother, sisters, nieces,nephews. I just want to know her.
help i need to find my birth mother i know she migrated to florida in the late 70′s had a a son called howard she had her own bussiness with her then husband selling real estate in florida her name was then jennifer young she will be 65 years old now
Looking for birth mother or father. Put up for adoption in Fargo, North Dakota. Born on Nov. 16, 1963
Yes I am looking for a woman by the name of Amanda Jones she was a Native American who had a Children with a Irish man one being my grandmother her birth name was Marta Ann Jones and she was set up for adoption in Tennessee aaround May 13 1925 (her birthdate) the family that adopted her were the pucketts. They were from Kentucky or at least that is where they ended up she had around 6 brothers and sisters. I have been helping my mother search for hers and my family in hopes of having something more for my children to know of where they came from. Please if you are one of the children or a decendent of them or by a stroke of luck Amanda please answer this we have been searching for as long as I can remember. If you feel uncomfortable about answering on here contact me at darkprincess020812@yahoo.com
I am looking for my birth parents. My name at birth was Renee Button. I believe my birth mothers name is Jodi L Graves. I am 19 years old, born on September 15, 1990 in Niagara, Newfane, New York.
My name is Joseph Medrano and I was adopted in 1969 from Children’s Home Society in Oakland,CA. I am looking for my birth mother a Native American Navajo Indian. My adoption was a closed adoption and I am having trouble getting my records open.
My name is Danielle Erin Gross (Elle) i was born sep. 16 1992 in Baton Rouge, L.A.. i am looking for my birth mother, all i know is that she is irish, and her name is Colleen. i have wanted to meet you all my life! please, please tell me if you are out there!
I am looking for my husbands birth mother and father he was born on march 14, 1983 in Covington KY. His birth mothers name is Robin McCain, and his fathers name is Ernie Sizemore. He has never met his birth father and has no clue if his father even knew he existed but lived with his mother off and on for several years before he was officially adopted. He was adopted by his kindergarten teacher and his wife. He remembers having a older sister and a younger brother but has no clue what there names were. He is really wanting to find them as well, and if there are any other family members. If this sounds like someone you know please email me asap. welkerkelli@yahoo.com Thank you and God bless
I am looking for my biological grandparents. My dad was adopted in 1948 and his birth name was John William Pennington. He was adopted out of West Virginia to a nice family in Ohio. He was born on Oct. 10th 1948. I really like to know who they are and health reasons too. Please email me with any info. e2a4d@yahoo.com
Thank you!
Looking for Amanda Marthen Born 1973-1975
in Memphis,Tn Mothers Name Debbie Marthen
She has a Brother Named Mitch Marthen.
Please help Been Looking For A Long Time.
Sincerly
James Stewart
Jimbo Stewart
I was conceived the last part of March in 1970, in Bottineau to Marsha Schmidt who was 16 almost 17 at that time. Well, she got around. College parties were also going on at this time. Snowy weather as well during this week. One of the males that she was with was Rick Klebe. DNA results showed that he is not my birth father. I am still trying to find out the name of my birth father and his location. He was in Bottineau, ND during this rondevous thing. I was told by individuals who have been trying to help that he too, had brown eyes, brown hair, possibly half French and half Sioux..possibly from the Lakota Sioux Tribe. They couldn’t remember his name but think that he might be another Rick, Patrick..something. Marsha married Ronald Kalliokoski in 1970 when she was 4 months pregnant with me. I was told by some people that my birth father may have known that Marsha was pregnant with me, but was aware that she was with other guys and didn’t believe that I was his biologically. He chose not to stick around to find out. He may be on the west coast. Marsha refuses to tell me who he is. She is ashamed of what she did (getting around) and the idea that she can’t pin down which guy he is. Rick Klebe has been eliminated, so that should narrow it down..
I have brown eyes, brown hair, and small build. Any help would be great!
Dear Ms. Johnson,
I am searching for a Ms. Johnson who gave birth to a little girl in 1970 in Queens, Ny. The little girl’s name was Teresa. She is a beautiful young black lady now who would love to meet her real parents.She also has brother.
Her father’s name was Raymond Harris. She is a friend of mine and I am trying to help her find her parents.
You can reach me at berdiejoy32@yahoo.com.
Thank You,
Berdie Gillis
ı am lookıng for my grandmother.
my mum was adopted as soon as she was born on the 26th january 1968.
her bıologıcal mothers pamela farley.
ı know she had 4 chıldren already.
ı have been searchıng for her for years now. ı am 19 years old and havıng problems wıth my health.
ı need to know her health records.
ı am not lookıng to ınterfere wıth her lıfe. ı just need to know. thanks
please reach me by emaıl at samantha-broughton@hotmail.co.uk
oh and she was born ın the uk but she lıves ın amerıca. her name when she was adopted was janet gomersall. please help me !!!!!
I’m searching for a friends birth parents. They were 16/17 years old from the Ogdensburg, NY area. My male friend was adopted as an infant around May 11, 1970.
Mary — interesting that I’m also helping a male b. 5=11=70 but in Watertown NY — Catholic Charities was involved — is that the same case as your friend ? I do know that sometimes the documents ‘change’ info a little..
Is there Italian in his background ?
Thanks, Mary
Hi i am looking for my mum leanne mccarthy i would like to hopfully find you on here i also have a brother david roberts 1 year older than me
pm
I am 22 years old, live all my life in Columbus,MS and my mother died when I was only 10 years old. So questions that I would really like to know the answers to I cant know.. I was raised by my moms husband, they were seperated at the time of my conception(I really dont think that they were still separated when I was born,but I cant remember.) I have his last name, his name is on my birth certificate, he is the only father that I have known. I have only one small memory of my biological father, we went to a firework show..So I think he was in my life. My mom’s sister told me that he wanted to be in my life but when my moms husband came back he left. I really want to find him, I recently asked my older sister do she remember him and if she knew his name she said that she “THINKS” it is “Luscious Murray”. My mothers name was Mary Payne, maiden name Sharp…I am very desperate to find him.
Hi, I am looking for my dad’s birth parents. He was born at Henry Ford Hospital. His dad was italian and his mother hungarian and french. His mother dropped out of school in the 8th grade and was a housekeeper in Wayne County Michigan and I think his dad was in the army. He was born January 13, 1959. They were in their early 20′s. He was given to catholic charities and was adopted out at 2 months old to a couple in Jackson, Michigan. His birth parents were going to name him Michael. His adopted parents named him Michael James Rooney. If anyone has any information, please contact me. I would really love to find out who my biological family is. Thank you.
Im looking for a girl name Jodie lynn. My mom had her when she was 16 or 17 in south carolina. Thanks
i am hoping someone can help me get in contact with my mum Leanne McCarthy. i was born in may 1985, my father is Gary Roberts and i have a brother David Roberts who is one year older then me.i was born in queenstown tasmania. i would like to be able to get in contact with her as i have children and want to give her the opertunity to get to know them. if anyone can help please contact me through this email address cosborne2010@hotmail.com
hi my name is desirae, I am looking for my older sister whom my mom gave up for adoption because she was only 17 and couldnt take care of her, she was very sick…I only know her birth name wich is..Amy Word…i dont know what it has changed to, she is about 26 or 27 years old. please help me find her!
I am searching for my husbands birth mother. Her name at the time of the birth was Helen Peterson Murdock. His brth name was Thomas Ray Murdock. He has 4 brothers and sisters and would love to find them.He was adopted in Dallas County, Dallas, Texas in 1969. He was born on January 6, 1970.
I was conceived last part of March in 1970, in Bottineau,ND to Marsha Schmidt who was 16 almost 17 at that time. She was a junior in high school.Well, she got around. College parties were also going on at this time. Snowy weather as well during this week. One of the males that she was with was Rick Klebe. DNA results showed that he is not my birth father. I am still trying to find out the name of my birth father and his location. He was in Bottineau, ND during this rondevous thing. I was told by individuals who have been trying to help that he too, had brown eyes, brown hair, possibly half French and half Sioux. They couldn’t remember his name but think that he might be another Rick, Patrick..something. Marsha married Ronald Kalliokoski in 1970 when she was 4 months pregnant with me. I was told by some people that my birth father may have known that Marsha was pregnant with me, but was aware that she was with other guys and didn’t believe that I was his biologically. He chose not to stick around to find out. He may be on the west coast. Marsha refuses to tell me who he is. She is ashamed of what she did (getting around) and the idea that she can’t pin down which guy he is. Rick Klebe has been eliminated, so that should narrow it down..
I have brown eyes, brown hair, and small build. Any help would be great! I am offering a $5000 reward for the person that can give me his name (which would have to match a dna test between me and him)
I am searching for a sibling. A boy born on April 28, 1987 at St. Joseph’s hospital in Minot, ND. My mother named him Eric Allen Stoeser. He had dark hair blue or maybe green eyes. (May be diabetic). My mother’s name is Stephanie Ann (STOESER)Johnson His father’s name is Reno Lee Brandt. My mom was 18 when he was born. His father was 17. His father is indian and lived in Cando, North Dakota. My mother lived in Devil’s Lake, ND at the time of his birth. It was a closed adoption and my mother believes they may have moved from that area soon after the adoption. His adoptive father worked for the state and his adoptive mother did daycare in her home. The adoption was handled through Catholic Family Services in Minot.(Now Catholic Charities).
Thank you=)
my name is perla martinez and i am looking for my birth mother all i know is that her name is maria elena villalpando and i was born in laredo texas and my birth name was san juanita martinez and i was born on august 24 1981.
I am trying to find my mother she left me when i was 2! I ain’t sure if she really wants to meet me but i would love to get to know her. as far as i know she is living in the state of flordia and her madien name is hughes i dont know much more except for her first name on my birth certifiect but she goes by two name theresa lynn or tonya if anyone could help me please contact me
I am looking for my birth mom. I was adopted at 7 days old, and since then.. I feel like I don’t know who I am. I really want to find her! Last name is Langdon. I was born in Seattle, Washington.
Looking for sherry lynn smith (maiden) believe she lives in wv is about 40. i know the situation and my dad died. i know they took me from you. please contact me
Hi my name is Shameka and i was adopted in west virginia in 1987 im 22 now and im looking for my birth parents i believe at the time i was adopted i had an older brother so would really like to meet my family please feel free to contact me.
My husband is searching for his birth parents. His name at birth was Scott Cunningham, born on January 28,1966 @ Boston floating Hospital.adopted name is Craig Bourdon. any information would help,thank you
Hi. I was adopted at birth from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was born on February 6th 1995, which only makes me 16 now. My mother recently gave me information on my birth parents and it has made me really curious. All I know is that my birth mother and father are not together. She was European i think and he was Irish. I was a very small baby, only weighing 4.15 lbs. My birth mother was in her late 20′s when she had me and my birth father was younger than her. I am mainly curious if I have any siblings and what the reason for doing it was.. Its a long shot, but it is still worth the shot.
I was born March 16, 1994 in lafeyette lousiana. I was brought to nj were i reside. I have a brother who was not given up and i would like to meet my brother and find my birth parents. If you are out their please contact me,
My moms first name is Susan and my brother would be around 26.
Hello I am looking for my girlfriends real mom all I kno is that she left when she was like 2 so it’s been 19 years since she seen her mother my girlfriend is very hurt and sad because she doesn’t know if her mother is still alive or not. I just really want her to know the answer. Her mom name is Maria Isabelle Mercado Torres all I believe is that she lived either in Ponce Puerto Rico or New York so if u kno her please contact me
Im looking for my mother I believe ur name is lyia arrnet from indiana..you gave me up at four. U were 16 when u had me and my name was billy.im trying to find you but I have had no luck. I have a facebook under reagan starkey please find me:(
looking for mothers mother JULIE RYAN FROM GLASGOW OR ANY BOYFRIENDS SHE HAD BETWEEN 1969/1970 as my mum has passed away now would love to meet them my mums name was julie mcgorry born 30/APRIL/1970 IF U ARE READING THIS OR ANYONE KNOW ANY INFO PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!! CONTACT ME BY EMAIL darceyc3301@googlemail.com
ps she was adopted few days after she was born dnt know fathers name
not on birth certificate. any1 know or know julie ryan plzzzzz email me
Hi Darcey,
I am a social worker based in St Margaret’s Glasgow, someone has been trying to trace your mother
Get in touch please
Hi Jess. We’re curious why you don’t email Darcey? Her email address is posted.
I am posting this for my cousins. Twin girls born in Cook County Illinois March 25th, 1965. Were sent to an orphanage and then adopted at 8 months of age. Birth mother one time showed up at the adoptive parent’s house. Girls had blonde hair and blue eyes.
ANY information would be helpful.
I am 22 years old and when I was born my dad signed his rights away because he was married and had a baby on the way with her the same time my mom was pregnant with me. His name is Keith A Lawson, and lived in Houston Texas. This is the only information I have on my father and I cant seem to find him.
Looking for my birth father Edward Allen Garcia Around the age of 62or so. He lived in california my grandmothers name is Ethel Reitz. My aunt’s name is julie i believe. My father could of used the last name of Reitz also He would know me as kellie bourgeois my mothers name is gail