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Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family-Part 2
Getting Help From Adoptive Parents
In our previous post: Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family, we mentioned that if your adoptive family members are willing to help you with your search for your birth mother, by all means approach them and obtain as much detail as possible! Write a list of everything you want to cover. At the very minimum you’ll want to ask…
- Why did my birth mother give me up?
- What were the ages of my birth parents? Dates of birth?
- Where were my birth parents born, and where did they reside at the time of my adoption?
- Were they from the same area where I was born? Name of hospital where I was born?
- What are the nationalities of my birth parents? Were my grand parents living?
- Educational background of my birth parents and grand parents?
- Occupation(s) and social history of birth parents and grand parents? Any siblings?
- Were my birthparents married, divorced? Previous marriages?
- Religion of birth parents?
- Was I in a foster home? How long? Who were my foster parents?
- How long between my relinquishment and placement?
- Was my mother in a maternity home? Did she see and hold me? Was she counseled before/after delivery or signing? Color of parent’s hair/eyes? Their height/weight?
- Did my birthparents have brothers/sisters? What ages? Birthmother’s first name and initial? Birthfather’s?
- Did she name me? What name? Were my birth parents active in school activities? What kind?
- How much did I weigh at birth? Has my birthmother or any birth family member ever contacted you? Do you have any letters, photos, or mementos?
- Name of social worker who handled my placement? Date adoption was finalized? What court(s) initiating, finalizing?
- Do you have a copy of my family decree for adoption? If not, what legal proof did you have to show that you were my parents?
Your interview may go in many directions. You may be told something that surprises you, and you may forget to ask everything that you had planned. So, be sure to cover all the questions that you have on your list. Just remember this very important fact: YOUR ADOPTING PARENTS AND/OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS MAY KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR ADOPTION THAN THEY CARE TO REVEAL. So, you may have to question them more than once. Do whatever it takes to get all the facts. If you don’t believe that you will get much co-operation from your adoptive family, you’ll have to use a different tactic. Over time, casually approach your family members and ask for small tidbits of information about your past. Make sure you do this over a period of time, not all at once! We know that it will be stressful to not ask for everything right away, but you have to remain patient. You can’t appear to be asking for information that will allow you to find your birth mother. Just act mildly curious–interested about your roots or medical background. Remember, you only need a minimal amount of identifying information to complete a successful search! Please read our prior post: Birth Mother Search – Obtaining Necessary Identifying Information.
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I’m looking for my husband’s birth mother. He was adopted from the angel guardin orphanage in brooklyn, Name on adoption papers is Larson
im looking for my mums mum and dad who gae her up when she wa only 18mounths she really wants to find them my mums name is lorraine harris harris is not her real second name its the name of her the parents who adopted her.please come nan and grandad i really wanna meet u if u are still alive my mum has a twin brother kieth
hi i belive that u are looking for me lorraine
well id like to say hi and im sorry for giving you u up at such a young age i was only 16 and i wasnt prepeard to give up my life up so easily . ive started up a family buiesness i would love to meet u .and see if i have grandchildren i belive that your adopted parents are partica harris and charlie. you 2 more sister elaine elle and a brother tony hope to see you soon
I am looking for the woman that gave me my greatest gift my life. I was born in Kentucky on April 1, 1973
I am looking 4 my dads birth parents because i would like to know who my grandparents are. IF U R OUT THERE PLEASE CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Searching for birth parents; child born 4/22/78 in Indiana.
Hello my name is Jose Jaran Gregory Gookin and I am looking for my birth mothers information. I was adopted when I was a young boy and don’t remember my mother and was told that she had passed away; her name was Betty Gregory Gookin and I’m not sure how old she was and I was told my grandmothers name was Catherine Gregory and she had also passed away. I would like to know if my mother left anything behind for me and how she died and what her will said and if there is any unclaimed money that she left for me. I am from Brazil and my adopted sister is living here in Arkansas close to me and her name is GiGi Reedy… So if you have any information about any of this PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL AT xxxxxxxxxx (contact the search advisor for Jaran’s phone number) I would love to find out more about my real family and birth mother… Thanks for your time to try and help… Sincerly, Jaran Gookin
Mom (Jessica Jennings). I am 17 years old today and i was born October 14, 1991 in texas.. You named me Jazzmine Marie Jennings and i have been looking for you since i was 11 years old…My parents changed my name to Molly Catherine Burnett. i read the letters that you gave my parents (lori and clay burnett) i still have the panda bear you gave me, i will always be your princess and if you are out there i would love to meet you… please mom, i would do anything to see you again and thank you for what you gave me!!
love your growing up Princess
Jazzmine Marie Jennings!
I was born Sept. 1062 in a north kansas city hospital. I was born with a cleft pallet. The adoption was a peivate adoption set up between my adopted father and my birth mother’s uncle. They worked together. I would like to find anyone who may be a itty bitty bit related to me or wonder about me like I do you.
Hi Paula , what state?
I am also looking for my dad’s parents… It would be an honor to meet my real grandparents. What if i need medical help one day? They could even be the reason for me to win a Scholarship. All I know is that my dad’s real name was Mark Twain, and he was adopted from West Virginia.
I am looking for my real mom, I was adopted at birth. My real moms name is Bettie Thornton and the last address we have for her is in Hernando, Miss. My birthday is Nov. 21 1987. I was adopted In Memphis, Tennessee. I would really like to meet my real mom. I just want to know her and know if i have brother, sisters, nieces,nephews. I just want to know her.
help i need to find my birth mother i know she migrated to florida in the late 70’s had a a son called howard she had her own bussiness with her then husband selling real estate in florida her name was then jennifer young she will be 65 years old now
Looking for birth mother or father. Put up for adoption in Fargo, North Dakota. Born on Nov. 16, 1963
Yes I am looking for a woman by the name of Amanda Jones she was a Native American who had a Children with a Irish man one being my grandmother her birth name was Marta Ann Jones and she was set up for adoption in Tennessee aaround May 13 1925 (her birthdate) the family that adopted her were the pucketts. They were from Kentucky or at least that is where they ended up she had around 6 brothers and sisters. I have been helping my mother search for hers and my family in hopes of having something more for my children to know of where they came from. Please if you are one of the children or a decendent of them or by a stroke of luck Amanda please answer this we have been searching for as long as I can remember. If you feel uncomfortable about answering on here contact me at darkprincess020812@yahoo.com
I am looking for my birth parents. My name at birth was Renee Button. I believe my birth mothers name is Jodi L Graves. I am 19 years old, born on September 15, 1990 in Niagara, Newfane, New York.
My name is Joseph Medrano and I was adopted in 1969 from Children’s Home Society in Oakland,CA. I am looking for my birth mother a Native American Navajo Indian. My adoption was a closed adoption and I am having trouble getting my records open.
My name is Danielle Erin Gross (Elle) i was born sep. 16 1992 in Baton Rouge, L.A.. i am looking for my birth mother, all i know is that she is irish, and her name is Colleen. i have wanted to meet you all my life! please, please tell me if you are out there!
I am looking for my husbands birth mother and father he was born on march 14, 1983 in Covington KY. His birth mothers name is Robin McCain, and his fathers name is Ernie Sizemore. He has never met his birth father and has no clue if his father even knew he existed but lived with his mother off and on for several years before he was officially adopted. He was adopted by his kindergarten teacher and his wife. He remembers having a older sister and a younger brother but has no clue what there names were. He is really wanting to find them as well, and if there are any other family members. If this sounds like someone you know please email me asap. welkerkelli@yahoo.com Thank you and God bless