Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family
Getting Help From Adoptive Parents
In our prior post, Birth Mother Search – Obtaining Necessary Identifying Information-Part 2, we discussed (1) what non-identifying information is (2) why it is so important to obtain non-identifying information when searching for your birth mother. (It provides identifying information! )
Often, even after obtaining your non-identifying information, you may still need more ‘identifying information’ about your birth mother in order to successfully find her. We understand that many adoptees are reluctant to discuss their search for their birth mother with their adoptive parents and family. But, it is so important to get over this discomfort. You should also speak with any friends of your adoptive parents and family who may have information about your adoption.
If you believe your adoptive family will cooperate and help you to find your birth mother, by all means approach them and obtain as much detail as possible. When speaking with your adoptive parents…
- Assure them that you don’t want to upset them and that you have wanted to talk to them about your adoption for a long time.
- Assure them how wonderful of a life you have had and that you owe them everything.
- Tell them that it doesn’t matter what the circumstances of your adoption were and that you are ready to accept any information they might have.
- Assure them that you are not interested in contacting your birth mother and that you are only interested in knowing the family history that you are entitled to.
- Assure them that they are your parents and always will be.
If you feel uncomfortable and cannot bring yourself to speak with them about this subject, try writing them. Please contact us if you would like us to send you a FREE SAMPLE LETTER TO SEND TO YOUR ADOPTIVE PARENTS. If you are lucky enough to have an opportunity to interview your adoptive parents or another family member, you need to be prepared. Review and have all the facts at hand that you have been able to develop to date. Try to conduct your interview in person; you may obtain more details this way than by phone or letter. There may be many small bits and pieces of information that they might have that they don’t realize are important. Write a list of everything that you want to cover. At the very minimum, you’ll want to ask…
Continued in: Getting Help From Your Adoptive Parents and Family-Part 2